Tag: anniversary

20 Years and Counting

It really does go by so quickly.

We weren’t young when we married and yet, I know we were quite naive about a lot of things. (Maybe it was just me.)

I went from just me and my cat to me, my cat and 4 other people. A lot of adjustments. A lot of prayer. Some things went well and some things definitely did not.

But today we celebrate 20 years together. It’s amazing. It’s definitely a God story.

One thing I have always loved about Tim (there are many more, of course) was that he always let me say whatever I wanted to say. The good. The bad. And the very ugly.

Sometimes downright repulsive.

This was so helpful – especially in the early years. I didn’t know how to be a mom. It was weird that things moved about during the night. And we had a strange unseen person named “Not me” living with us too.

A lot of change at one time. Of course, I was so nervous to do the wrong thing, a lot of the time I did nothing. That was not helpful to Tim nor the kids. It definitely showed I was trying to do it in my own strength instead of relying on God.

But one thing we did do (and still do) was talk. We have definitely learned how to communicate better after twenty years.

We took a trip to visit my family shortly after we wed. When we arrived, Tim didn’t have any clothes in the suitcase. I remember seeing them in neat piles on the bed near the suitcase before we left home. But he neglected to tell me he expected me to pack for him. We can laugh about it now.

Instead of asking, “What time do you want to be there?” I ask, “What time do you want to leave?” When Tim suggests going out to eat after church, I try NOT to remind him we have food at home.

Another thing we do is pray together. This, by far, is my favorite thing.

He prays over me before he leaves for work in the morning. We both pray together before he goes to sleep. We even ask for prayer during the day too.

We know that God needs to be the center of the marriage. If we both are growing closer to God, we will naturally grow closer to each other.

We are so very blessed. A lot of people (including our parents) prayed for us for many years. Mom continues.

Tim and I still have a lot of growing and learning to do. We want to finish well. We know we are not perfect but we look to the One who is.

“I think my life is about to drastically change!”

Those are the words I said to a friend of mine after my first ‘official’ date with Tim.

Four months later (to the day), we were married.

And today, it’s been sixteen years.

As we talked and reminisced tonight, we both agreed we have come a long way from the couple that we were in 2006. We know so much more about God and His love for us. We know so much more about the power of life giving (and life-taking) words.

There is no sense in wishing we would have done this or not said that. I often think about things I did or didn’t do when the kids were in the house. How would their lives be different if we had operated out of love and not from survival mode?

But God…same today as He was sixteen years ago and as He always has been and always will be. Thankfully, He doesn’t change – but encourages us to. He doesn’t ‘grow’ in the sense that He becomes more loving, more patient or more self-disciplined. But He equips us to grow. He pushes us forward.

I can’t go back to when the kids were teenagers and do things differently – or be wiser. But I can start today. With encouragement, with love. With the idea of leaving a legacy. If I say I want my life to point others to Christ, then I need to do that today and every day from now on.

Time, as you know, goes by quickly and doesn’t return. What do you need to set your mind on and follow through with? How will your life be different (positively or negatively) one year from today?