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Lies. All lies.

The devil, our enemy, has one goal. Since he knows our salvation is secure, his goal is to make us ineffective while we are alive. If we don’t promote the Gospel and point people to Christ…if we aren’t unapologetically enthusiastic about Jesus and what He has done for us through the cross…if we aren’t seen as different from the world…the enemy has won the battle. (He still loses the big one.)

His mission is to kill, steal and destroy. He does this through lies. Jesus called him the father of lies (John 8:44.) I know this to be true. And yet, I have believed the lies for many years.

I had friends throughout school and college but when I moved, I didn’t really keep in touch. I am an introvert and used that to agree with the enemy that I didn’t need relationships. I was okay on my own. (Lie #1)

I married Tim and three teenagers. I rarely spoke life over them because I was convinced that I didn’t know what I was saying (#2) because I didn’t have any biological children.

When we would attend church, I would walk quickly by people with my head down. I would busy myself with tasks and not engage. I had nothing to offer people. (#3)

If people knew me and knew what I had done (or didn’t do) or what I said or what music I listened to or what cuss word I said, they wouldn’t want to know me. (#4) This was my lot in life – to be mediocre (#4) and to work through the condemnation (#5) that God had for me.

At our first small group in Highlands, people were hugging each other and smiling. I hated small talk and would disappear or busy myself with my phone. I could always appear pious with a Bible in my hand.

I asked one of the ladies in the group if I was going to have to become a hugger to stay in the group. I don’t like that, I said. That’s not me. She came very close to my face (all up in my personal space) and said, “I will pray for you.” Oh my goodness! I wanted to run far far away.

But I know that she did. Things didn’t shift overnight. But they did shift.

The Lord revealed to me the lies that I had believed. I found who I was in Christ and who He created me to be. Here is the truth.

I am God’s child. (John 1:12) I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10) I am free from condemnation. (Romans 8:1-2) I am created in His image. (Genesis 1:27) I have a future that is good and was planned by my Creator. (Jeremiah 29:11) And another BIG one – Jesus came so that I (and you) could have life – an abundant, amazing life. Or, as The Message paraphrase states, more and better life than (I) ever dreamed of. (John 10:10)

Think on purpose the TRUTH about who you are in Christ. In Him is your confidence. This is truth. And the truth will set you free. (John 8:32.)

Self-control…what?

When I was a child, I remember going to the grocery store with mom. We would occasionally buy treats and I remember her making me wait – not only until we got home, but also until after dinner before I was able to have a cookie or two.

Now that I do the grocery shopping, I have found myself elbow deep in the treats before I even get out of the parking lot. I’m usually the only one who will partake in the treat so it’s not like anyone is getting my germs. But, seriously, I can’t even get out of the parking lot before the bag is opened.

The Bible does speak of self-control. Galatians 5:22-23 – But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. That last one gets me – especially when it comes to food.

I don’t know why it is so difficult for me to take food (chocolate) in moderation. I have fasted from it for a short while. I usually can control myself in public. But when I am alone with dark chocolate sea salt caramels – or even M & M’s, I am ravenous and lose control.

Whether it’s eating, exercising, planning, spending, internet browsing – it is easy to lose control.

But God (best words!)… He wants us to continually pray (1 Thessalonians 5:17.) We need to continue to crucify the flesh – bring it under control of the Spirit. And that requires us to be aware of what we are doing. Peter calls it being sober minded (1 Peter 5:8.)

I am learning (ever so slowly) to take inventory of my thoughts and to shift my focus to God and to pray. To communicate with God constantly. He wants me to bring EVERYTHING to Him. I have the fruit of the Spirt – one of which is self-control. Lord, help me continue to submit my flesh to Your Spirit.

The Sounds of Silence

Is your world ever completely silent?

It’s 6am and Tim has left for the office. I’m in my office with no music or screens on. But, I can still hear things.

Xena, the wonder dog, is dreaming. She makes noises that sound as if she is scared or anxious.

The refrigerator just cycled through making ice.

There is a car nearby that apparently needs to idle for awhile and then the engine needs to be revved up six or seven times before it can be driven.

And then there is mom. Let’s just say I can tell she is still in bed.

My quiet time is rarely silent. But, it is a most precious time.

A time to breathe, to think, to write, to be still. A time to praise God, thank God and ask God. Probably my most favorite time of the day.

If you are running from the time your feet hit the floor, how do you feel when you finally collapse into bed? Can your mind shut off automatically as you drift into a peaceful deep sleep where you awaken refreshed and renewed? Probably not.

And some days are like that. But even in the midst of the most hectic day, search for a time when you can get away from the noise, the screens. Even if it’s five minutes in the sunshine – just you and nature – it will refresh your soul.

You must be intentional with your time. Start with the sounds of silence.

Poop is Poop

This morning when I took Xena for a walk, it was a lovely 64 degrees. During June in Alabama, that is rare. It was wonderful!

We went to the local school and I let her off leash to sniff around and do her business. I saw where she was and made a mental note of the area. When she finished, I walked directly to the spot. Or so I thought.

I looked and looked for 20 minutes or so. I could smell it so I knew I was close but still couldn’t find it. I retraced my steps and kept looking. Xena was no help.

I prayed that the Lord would show me the poop. He does have a sense of humor.

I still looked for another five minutes. I prayed again, “Please, Lord, show me the poop!”

And there it was.

I bagged it and Xena and I made the trip home.

Now, I could have left it there by rationalizing. The kids are out of school. It wasn’t necessarily in a well-traveled part of the school grounds. It would rain…eventually.

But the truth is, poop is poop and I wouldn’t want to walk through it. I wouldn’t want anyone else to roll in it. So, I searched for it until it was found.

The Holy Spirit wants to reveal the poop in our hearts too. Search me, know me, reveal to me anything hidden in me that is not of You.

Ouch! I am full of pride. I am full of criticism. I am full of poop. These are things in my heart that if left unattended will overflow from my mouth and affect those around me.

But God! He loves me so. He reveals the depth of my sin, reminds me that He covered it with His blood. He convicts but doesn’t condemn. I am forgiven and restored. I am whole, in Jesus’ name.

Do you have poop in your heart? Are there things in your life that need to be exposed and then rooted out? Ask your Creator to reveal those things to you. Repent and change directions. He loves you too!

What to do?

What do you do when you know what to do but choose to do the other not-so-right thing?

What do you do when you know what to do but don’t want to do it?

For our initial summer small group meeting, I made brownies. Nothing special. But chocolate loveliness from a box, nonetheless. Tim cut them into bite sized pieces. I also had the obligatory fruit and vegetables.

I think maybe a carrot or two was eaten and one person took a brownie home with them.

Tim was supposed to take the brownies to work with him. I had put them in a bag and placed them near the door. But, when I entered the kitchen, that was the first thing I spotted.

Now, I told myself, “I am the righteousness of Christ. I have the fruit of the spirit – one of which is self-control.” I think they lasted an hour. Probably less. They were delicious.

Now, did I know what I was doing or was I sleep-eating? I made a conscious decision to eat every last one of them. I exercised no self control whatsoever.

I’m in good company. Like the apostle Paul wrote in Romans 7 “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” And later, “I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.”

If I want to do right but don’t, does that mean I don’t hate my sin enough? Does it mean I don’t love Jesus enough? I have wrestled with this for awhile. But if I would just continue reading in the same chapter, verse 22 “I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature, I am a slave to sin.”

Ok – so that’s it? I’m just a sinner and that’s my life so I’m always going to binge? Drink to excess? Rage? Gossip? Be foolish, lazy and mediocre?

No! Keep reading!

Chapter 8 “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

I am free from the power of sin because I am a daughter of the King. I now have the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead living inside of me! Through the power of the Spirit, I put to death the deeds of my sinful nature.

What does this mean? I sin but am not condemned by that. I need to continue to feed that Spirit through worship, the Word and prayer so that I am led by it and not my flesh or by my feelings.

Will I ever master this? No! Why? Because on this earth and in this body, there will always be a war between my flesh and Spirit. Again, in Romans 8:23 “And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit with in us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as His adopted children, including the new bodies He has promised us.”

Here is the key thought – again, everything points us back to God, Jesus and His Spirit. “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness.” (verse 26)

We aren’t left to deal with our sin and weakness on our own or with human willpower. We have the Spirit (the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead!) and we can call on Him to help us in our weakness.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving us so much. For providing a way to have communion and relationship with you. Thank you, Spirit, for helping us in our human frailty to become what You have called us to. Amen.

“I think my life is about to drastically change!”

Those are the words I said to a friend of mine after my first ‘official’ date with Tim.

Four months later (to the day), we were married.

And today, it’s been sixteen years.

As we talked and reminisced tonight, we both agreed we have come a long way from the couple that we were in 2006. We know so much more about God and His love for us. We know so much more about the power of life giving (and life-taking) words.

There is no sense in wishing we would have done this or not said that. I often think about things I did or didn’t do when the kids were in the house. How would their lives be different if we had operated out of love and not from survival mode?

But God…same today as He was sixteen years ago and as He always has been and always will be. Thankfully, He doesn’t change – but encourages us to. He doesn’t ‘grow’ in the sense that He becomes more loving, more patient or more self-disciplined. But He equips us to grow. He pushes us forward.

I can’t go back to when the kids were teenagers and do things differently – or be wiser. But I can start today. With encouragement, with love. With the idea of leaving a legacy. If I say I want my life to point others to Christ, then I need to do that today and every day from now on.

Time, as you know, goes by quickly and doesn’t return. What do you need to set your mind on and follow through with? How will your life be different (positively or negatively) one year from today?

All things…including you!

Do you ever hear someone say – Well, that’s just who I am. I can’t change it. OR- that is my bad habit and I can’t change it.

Do you ever say it yourself?

My answer is yes – all to often, yes.

But it’s not true. It’s a lie straight from the devil.

Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV) Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

God makes new things. We are not to dwell on the former things. One of my issues is with food – chocolate, mostly. It’s so wonderful whether milk, dark, with sea salt and caramel, with peanut butter. But, sometimes I binge. But God can free me of this. This is not something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I am a person of God which means I am a new creation and I can exercise the self-control muscle.

Today might be a struggle. Yesterday wasn’t and tomorrow doesn’t have to be. Thank you, Lord, for making me new. Help me to walk with confidence that I am renewed with you. Do a new work within me.

Concentration

Are you able to think about just one thing at a time? Seriously, just one thing?

I find it quite difficult to do. I have tried meditation and just ‘clearing my mind.’ Another process I use is to count backwards from 100. I picture the numbers in various fonts and colors on cardboard signs that people discard as I think about that number.

I tried that method again early this morning. I was awakened around 3:15 am by thunder. It never stormed around my house and I was just awake.

So I tried to count backwards. 100-99-98-97-chicken for supper tonight? Do I have any clean clothes? What time is my appointment today?

I caught myself and started again. I may have made it into the 80’s before I veered off thinking about Tim, vacation, work, the dog, the cat, the kids…. I believe I was finally successful on my seventh attempt.

Concentration is hard. Meditation is hard. Being still is hard.

Yet, we are commanded to do it. Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God. Or how The Message paraphrases it – “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”

“Step out of the traffic!” Get out of the jam or confusion or busyness of your life and look at God! Focus on Him and what He has done.

I try to find a quiet moment in each day. One would think it would be relatively easy. Tim leaves around 5:30am and mom doesn’t seek coffee for another couple of hours.

Traffic in my head – colorful, yet full of congestion.

But my problem is not my environment. It’s my head. My traffic is all in my head and it takes practice for me to be quiet and still and concentrate on one thing.

I believe being still is a discipline – learned through repetition. As with any discipline, it’s difficult and doesn’t come naturally. But the benefits far outweigh the difficulty.

So I press on. I must guard this time for quiet and stillness. I must pursue it and remember its importance in my life.

What is your method/routine/practice/discipline for being still?

Highs and Lows

Ah, the month of May. Usually a month of warmer temperatures, graduations, weddings, vacations and the unofficial start of summer.

May 2019 had some extreme highs –

We planted our garden and harvested one
radish. Tim and I split it.
One of our grandsons graduated from Pre-K.
Tim and I celebrated 13 years of marriage.
My oldest nephew graduated high school.

May 2019 had some intense lows-

My sister in law is having complications after surgery.
A friend lost her father after a long illness.
People I don’t even know lost both of their parents in one night.
My oldest nephew lost a friend to suicide.

That’s at least the second friend of my nephew who chose that option. My heart aches for his family. My heart aches for my nephew. This is an all too common experience.

I know people who have threatened suicide and those who have followed through. In every case there are multiple unanswered questions and it leaves devastated family and friends in the wake.

I know the struggle with depression (aka the black dog) is real. I am not an expert (nor am I attempting to be.) I know that we all struggle in one way or another. I know that some is physical, and some is spiritual. I also know there is help available to all.

I know it feeds off negative self-talk and makes you believe that nothing can change. That is a lie straight from the pit of hell. The black dog tries to keep you isolated so you only hear that one negative voice. It makes you want to act on your feelings but feelings aren’t always true and they do change.

Choose to think what you think on purpose! Combat the desire to be alone! Reach out to someone who will listen! If the first person doesn’t, find someone else! Please believe that you are created on purpose and for a purpose. You have value! You are the only you there is. You are unique.

There – start with that thought. YOU ARE UNIQUE. Tell yourself (in the mirror) I AM UNIQUE. Some of the synonyms are exceptional, extraordinary, rare, special. Say those words over and over again – day after day. You may not feel it but remember, feelings will change. Say it until you believe it.

Reclaim your life. Live beyond the lie that nothing will change.

First step…

I am blessed to live near a walking and biking path along a creek. I often take Xena with me and when I do, it is less of a leisurely walk and more of a walk fast, stop, walk fast, turn around, stop. Walk faster!

One afternoon we were enjoying the nice weather and came upon a man practicing his Tai Chi (or something like that.) It’s always so beautiful and graceful. He usually doesn’t break his routine when we approach but that day he did.

He told us he had just seen a coyote on the other side of the creek walking in the same direction we were. The creek was low and could easily be crossed by human or animal. I thanked him and Xena and I continued our way. I found a thick tree limb that had fallen and picked it up and carried it like a sword ready to strike. We were approaching a part of the path that was covered with trees on both sides. My vision was limited.

I suddenly was walking purposeful with a steadfast gaze to the front, to the side and to the rear. I was on high alert.

What changed? Xena and I had been aimlessly wandering around on familiar territory. Suddenly, I was made aware of a potential danger that could come from any direction. I armed myself and prepared for battle.

Thankfully, we never saw the coyote and made it home safely. I was able to drop my weapon when I got into my neighborhood.

I started thinking about my response to the perceived danger. I was going to protect myself and my beloved dog. I was hyper-aware of my surroundings and I wanted to get to the safety of home as soon as possible.

As a Christian, I have a real enemy. He is always lurking nearby – prowling and waiting to devour me. Why am I not as vigilant with that enemy as I was with something that turned out to be nothing?

Most of my life I have spent wondering around without awareness of him and his intent on limiting me and my purpose in life. He has attacked me with lies, busyness, loneliness, depression, and the biggest one of all – FEAR. All of which is to make me ineffective in living out my purpose – which is to reflect Christ and point people to Him.

Well, today starts a new chapter. I am done procrastinating and listening to the lies. I am done thinking that I can make no difference to anyone with my words. I am done thinking and thinking and thinking about writing and not writing. I am blogging with a purpose. I am living out what I am called to do.

Beware, devil. I know you are out there. I am prepared. And by the way, I know the final outcome.