Tag: forgiveness

Help Me to See

As my age increases, my eyesight decreases and I can’t stand it.

My friend needed glasses at an earlier age and she tried to explain to me what she saw. At that time, I didn’t understand everything being in a constant state of blurriness.

And now I do.

When I first put on my new prescription glasses, it was amazing to see things so sharply. Everything had an edge to it.

Without the glasses, I could maneuver and get by. With the glasses, I see the colors and shapes and details so much better. It adds beauty in my life that I didn’t know was missing.

I thought about this richness as I was reading Leviticus this morning.

There are rules, festivals, and sacrifices – so many sacrifices! The movie version of the ark is gold and shiny. After reading this book, I can only see it dripping in blood.

There is so much detail in the description of the sacrifices – who, what, when, how answered over and over again. I do not know how the priests kept it straight! Do I pour the blood – or sprinkle the blood? Which finger do I use? Is this for the sin offering? The guilt offering? For my sins? The peoples sins?

I have asked God to open my eyes and to let me see what He wants me to see when I read His word. Some things have come into focus.

God reminded the people again and again that He was the Lord, the One who brought them out of Egypt. He reminded them that they were chosen and they were to live differently than the people around them. They were to offer sacrifices to Him only. The sacrificed animal was to be perfect and without blemish.

Jesus was the final perfect sacrifice. One without sin who was sacrificed for my sins. His blood was splattered for my transgressions.

I think the Lord is showing me through Leviticus that on my own, I cannot atone for my sins. No matter how good I think I am or how clean I am, I am not able to pay for my own sins. Because I am not perfect.

But God. He made a way for you and me to be in a right relationship with Him. Jesus stepped in for us and was offered as the final and complete sacrifice for our sins. My sins are paid for – past, present and future.

When I focus in on this detail, I am overwhelmed at the love He has for me. I am so grateful and marvel at the detail, the beauty of this.

Do you know this beauty, this love? He made a way for us all to have eternal life with Him. Thank you, Jesus!

Stubborn and Unforgiving

Those two words describe people I know.

They also describe me.

I don’t like this part of myself. I want to be quick to forgive and to move on. And outwardly, I think I appear so.

But y’all, my heart is not always so. If truth be told, I wrestle with this more than I should. Definitely more than I need to.

I have been forgiven much. My Savior paid for my sins – past, present, and future – by dying on the cross for me. Why do I think I have the audacity to not forgive someone who hurt me? Someone who mistreated me or said something about me that wasn’t true?

This same Savior paid for everyone’s sins the same way – even the people who hurt me. I say everyone is redeemable. But do I believe it?

I have asked the Holy Spirit to point out things in my life that need to change, things that don’t align with who I am in Christ’s righteousness and things that are sinful and dishonoring to Him. Well, He’s done it. Again. I’ve gone around this mountain a time or three hundred.

Lord, thank you for being faithful and to keep pursuing me. I repent of not forgiving others and for being stubborn. Thank you for covering my sins and for pruning me once again. I forgive others. Please help me mean it in my heart and to walk it out in my speech and actions.

Alright – moving on!

How Many Rocks Do You Carry?

In one of my small group seasons, a leader was discussing forgiveness. I didn’t think I needed this lesson because I was sure I was not harboring any bad feelings toward anyone. It didn’t take me long to discover, however, that once again, I was wrong.

She began by describing offense as the bait used by the enemy to lure us into bondage.

My interest was piqued. I definitely don’t like giving the enemy any ground and do not want to exist in bondage. I want to live in freedom.

She said forgiveness was not minimizing what happened or even forgetting what happened. I really thought it was to forgive and forget. I thought that made me more spiritual. (Roll eyes here.)

Forgiveness allows us to remember the event without reliving the pain associated with the event. That was a big statement because there is some pretty big pain in this world.

Forgiveness also isn’t reconciliation. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” You can only control you. You cannot control the other person. Trust the Holy Spirit to lead you as to whether to even attempt reconciliation.

Some of my group members had to leave the relationship. Others reconciled. Still others are living with daily, constant, reoccurring pain because the offender is still in their life. The Holy Spirit leads and not everyone is led to the same decision.

Towards the end of our group time, my leader brought out a bag of rocks. She instructed us to take rocks equal to the number of people we needed to forgive in our lives. We were to carry that bag with us every where we went.

Pulling out that bag of rocks from my purse when I needed my wallet was fun. Oh, the looks I got! The weight of it lightened every time I chose to forgive someone and threw away the rock.

I recently revisited this object lesson. But instead of a bag of rocks, I chose a small pebble. It’s not a smooth river rock. It has multiple sharp edges. I put it in my sock.

At first, it was very uncomfortable. It jabbed me even when I wasn’t walking.

However, within a short amount of time, I became used to it and didn’t feel it anymore. It just was something to carry with me, like extra baggage.

When we don’t forgive others, it can become part of our identity. We don’t even realize the damage or heaviness. It attaches to us and if we don’t address it, becomes a brick in the wall that surrounds our heart. It may keep us from getting hurt – but also keeps up from being loved and known.

That little pebble left its mark – whether I felt the pain or not. It left an indentation on my foot. I’m sure eventually, it would have cut the skin.

Living with unforgiveness leaves a mark. We can become numb to the pain quite quickly and distracted by other things. However, left unaddressed, it will rob us of our joy, our hope and our confidence. We won’t trust people from the start.

When we choose to forgive them, we release that person from a yoke. This yoke is only around our own necks. We are freed from the weight we are carrying. We begin to walk in freedom.

Dear friend, take a moment and think about who you need to forgive. Have an open and honest conversation with God. Tell Him what happened. Give Him your pain. Tell Him of your desire to forgive the person. Choose to forgive – say it, out loud. Choices lead – feelings follow.

However – if you decide you do NOT want to forgive this person, find a rock and carry it around. Or put a sharp pebble in your sock. The Lord wants your rocks. But He’ll let you carry them as long as you want to. Then it will be yours to manage.

Because I love you…

We all know that we use the word love with a variety of meanings.

I love finding the perfect parking spot. I love clean sheets. I love Xena, the wonder dog. I love my kids/grands and Tim.

I also love God.

Why is it so easy for me to do things for Tim/kids/grands – even Xena because of my love for them but, not so easy for me to do things for God. *OUCH*

Obedience is one way to show God that I love Him. Not because I think he will punish me if I don’t. But because I love Him, I will do what He asks. I know that in my head. Please, Lord, let it penetrate my heart and my will.

Scripture is loaded with reminders of obedience and love.

John 15:10 – When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love….

John 14:23 – Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say.”

Obedience can be defined as compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another’s authority. I want to be fully submitted to the authority of God. He has created me (and you) on purpose and for a purpose. He has good plans and can be trusted. Why do I continue to disobey – or in other words, why do I rebel?

Let’s go back to scripture.

Luke 6:46 – “So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say?

1 Samuel 15:23 – Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols.

Egad!

Lord, once again, I’m convicted of my rebellion and stubbornness. Thank you, Lord, that there is NO CONDEMNATION! Thank you for your forgiveness. Change my heart, Lord. Remind me again and again that YOU alone are worthy. YOU can be trusted. I don’t have to understand. I just need to trust.